Feeling A Little Purple Today

So I decided to go on blogger last night. Not sure why. I mean it was way past midnight and I probably should have been in bed, but I had this guilty feeling. I couldn't remember the last time I blogged. Or what I wrote about. I decided to check in on a few friends of mine.... hoping they hadn't blogged in a while either. But of course they totally have been keeping up with it... Not like how they used to, but at least once a week. Anyway, while reading through some of the blogs I've been neglecting, I noticed that a bunch of people changed their background. And since I was feeling purplicious, I decided to change mine too. Hope you all like it. That is, those of you who still bother to check if I ever blog anymore. :(

So, last night was a very big first. My little Alyssa, who is now 3, and is so cute and grown up, and can totally take care of herself, but is still my little baby, had a sleepover at my parent's house. And in case you were wondering why, it was because we went to a bar mitzvah that was ending really late, and it is easier for my mom to watch her at her house than ours, and cuz I am psycho and I like it better when my mom babysits than a teenager, and cuz Alyssa really, really, really wanted to sleep there.

If any of you know me by now, you know that I am a total control freak. I don't just leave my kids. Even with their grandparents. So this was huge. It's not that I don't trust my parents. I knew she would be fine and happy, I just like to see my kids and know what their doing. But I am insanely attached when they are little, like 3 years old....

The bar mitzvah was fine. I didn't worry for a second. Didn't check my phone, didn't wonder what time she went to bed, if she remembered to make on the potty..... It was when I got home with my other kids, that I started sweating a little. It was midnight. Everyone went to bed. And I sat downstairs and felt like my arm had fallen off. It was just sooo weird to not have Alyssa in the house with the rest of us. I called my mom. Everything was fine. "She was sweet, and cute, and went to bed so nicely...."

I finally fell asleep at around 1 am. At 7am I woke up in a panic. Alyssa always wakes up at 6:30. I went downstairs, and checked my emails, facebook, work contracts.... At 7:45 I called my mom. No answer. I started getting nervous. Alyssa had a cold and didn't eat very much on saturday. She should have woken up early, after all she went to bed pretty early.... The last time Alyssa slept till 8:15 she was sick and dehydrated and unresponsive. We ended up in an ambulance on Shabbat. She was soooo sick. I decided that I should just drive over there and make sure she was ok.

At 8:15 I walked into my parent's house. And was greeted with "Rayli, what are you doing here?" I think my parents thought I was totally nuts. My dad insisted that she was fine, that they both had checked on her throughout the night. I ran upstairs to see for myself...... and there all comfy and cozy in bed with 3 stuffed animals was my sweet little Alyssa. With all my psycho babble, I had started to wake her.... She sat up in bed, and said in the sweetest voice, "Hi Mommy, I missed you."

She was totally fine. She was so happy, and had such a good time.

I, on the other hand, was a total mess. What is wrong with me??? Why is it that when my kids aren't with me, every worst case scenario runs through my head?

Oh, and just wait, Jon is taking Jessica and Emily to Vail in a month.

Don't even get me started......