O

I finally had the experience!

You know.

The one every woman wants...

The big O.

It was amazing!

It was everything I thought it would be.....

Get your minds out of the gutter.

I'm talking about going to the Oprah show!

I went there today with a couple friends of mine!!!

My amazing friend, Orah got the tickets to the show and asked me and Miss S., who apparently stopped reading my blog since I havn't seen any comments from her in a while, to go with her!

She picked me up at 5:30 a.m. (believe it or not I was up at 4:30 a.m. to get ready....way too early as far as I'm concerned). We got there around 6. We waited in line a long time

and finally after a purse check and cell phone confiscation we were led to the waiting room, where we were to spend the next 1 1/2 hours. I was told to go upstairs and Shaindy and Orah waited downstairs. I thought I'd be really bored, and I would have been had I not met 6 people who were very very social to talk to.

The first couple started conversation with me. The guy just kept talking and talking and talking.... especially while his fiance was in the bathroom. She was a very thin girl, blond straight hair. He was a total meathead (never thought I'd use that word, but there is no other way to describe him). I know that they drove in from michigan, stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. He works at a furniture store and she is a cosmetologist. They went out for dinner last night and then went out for drinks where she had a really good Godiva Martini and a Sexy B#@*%. She should have stopped after the first drink though. He likes drag racing, wants to eat at Midieval Times, drives a Ram pickup truck (she drives a Pontiac something), and wants to know where he can get some good Chicago deep dish after the show. They are both 21 years old and live in a small town that starts with the letter S. The girl doesn't like greasy food and he is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He loves football and played it in high school. Their town is very small and quaint and they think I would love visiting there for a week.

The two older women next to me are from Fenton, MI. One of them has 2 kids with some grandkids. She thinks being a stay at home mom is a very hard job. She worked a 38 hour shift before coming here and had to find someone to cover for her. On the way to chicago she stopped off at Applebee's to get a Long Island Iced Tea and they wouldn't serve her one because it was election day and it wasn't after 6 p.m.

The older couple across from me were from San Francisco. He is a divorce lawyer. He was in the marines. She was from cleveland originally but her family moved to San Francisco when she was 9. They recently took a cruise to Antarctica, where they saw penguins and walruses and a whole lot of ice. They really love San Francisco and the best months to visit are september and october.

Seriously there was even more chit chat than that! I felt like I had known these people for years! Anyway, they finally called my number (#33 by order of when we got there) and I went into the studio to meet my friends. We had really good seats, well I did. There was a camera in front of Orah and Shaindy part of the time. We were in the first row behind the people who sit in the floor seats.

Unfortunately it was not Oprah's Big Giveaway.

It was Oprah's Most Boring Show Ever!

Scratch that. It was half of Oprah's Most Boring Show Ever. Sob.

No hotty celebrities. No free giveaways. Nada.

She taped 2 segments of addicts from the show Intervention. An obese guy who weighed 545 pounds and has now lost 250 pounds and a heroine/cocaine addict that has been clean for a year. They were on the show after some time in rehap since the Intervention show and were showing off some great results.... blah blah blah. (She had taped the first half of the show earlier.) Then she did her Oprah.com aftershow.

The only entertaining thing about the show was the old woman in the seat next to me that kept falling asleep, doing the head nod, and then actually snored!!!! When she snored I almost lost it! I looked at Shaindy and we were silently dying of laughter. The camera guy, who was standing next to Orah started doing the silent laugh and I saw him taking deep breaths so he could try to stop. Then he looked at me and mouthed, "That was you." And I whispered back, "Oh no it wasn't!" And I did the sleep sign and pointed to the lady. And he mouthed back, "It was you." And we both kinda did the silent hysterical laugh. It was pretty funny! And totally appropriate for this depressing show. I think I saw Oprah give me the "shut up" look.

Anyway, it was really cool to see Oprah so close up. She looked great! Her hair was black (not the gross red color) and straightened. She was really funny and talked candidly about things, like the zit on her forehead, at commercial breaks and during the aftershow part. There was a superfan there named Shannon. She was going crazy and Oprah let her sit in one of her chairs and took a picture with her. She was totally ridiculous. There was another superfan that talked to Oprah for like 20 minutes, while we all rolled our eyes. Oprah was really nice and social. It was really cool to be there.

After the show we went to the Oprah store, bought nothing, and took a few pictures. (Orah, I actually would have bought you an O keychain had I known at the time that your keys were held together by a rubberband!!!!)

This is us in front of the store:

And a picture of me and Oprah:

We walked to the Harpo sign where I saw the 2 guests from the show taking pictures. I asked them if I could take pictures with them, and we did. Then we asked the drug addict's girlfriend to take a picture of the 3 of us. She was totally whacked! I think SHE needs to go to rehab. She basically took the picture of us while doing a backbend, and had these really weird angles that I swear could have only gotten a picture of the sky.

Then the obese guy asked me if he could video me asking to take a picture with them and I said sure. He told me it was for his video blog, and I said what a coincidence....

Anyway, after taking a few pictures with them I walked away and suddenly had this nauseous feeling come over me as I thought about having my arm around these guys. Gross. Oh and we decided that the former drug addict guy is for sure still on drugs and his crazy girlfriend is probably too.

This is a picture of Jason, former heroine/cocaine addict (possibly current drug addict), thinking he's hot shit for getting into a limo.

Even though he totally isn't.

When I got home I was totally exhausted and needed my own fix. Two excedrin migraine pills later I was feeling great and ready to take on the world. Oh how I love you caffeine filled headache medicine....

Thanks Orah for taking me to the Oprah Show!

And Jon thank you for working from home and taking the kids to school. Oh wait, I already thanked you ;)