So I did the ritual cleansing.... took off my nail polish, jewelry, brushed and flossed my teeth, washed off my makeup, took a long shower, washed myself from head to toe.... and I did feel super clean.
But then you have to go to the mikvah and dip into this water and all I think about is, "Ew. I wonder who's naked body was in here before me? I wonder what day they clean the water? Everyday? Every other? Maybe they should have a sign up for people who would like to pay a little extra to be the first one in?" I walk down the steps pushing the water away from me. I dip, hear the woman say "kosher" and know that every single hair on my head made it under the water when I dunked. I mean, come on. If one hair on my head doesn't go under is it gonna make a difference? I hope I am not offending anyone, but it is slightly ridiculous. I say the blessing, dunk again, hear the word "kosher" and then I tell the woman I am done. I walk out of the mikvah feeling a little gross and await the towel the woman is holding up for me so I can get this germy water off of me.
I know that right now Shosh is thinking that I am totally crazy, but come on... there have to be more women out there like me. I don't mind the whole getting ready part, I actually like that, but I would like it if I could just skip the skinny dipping in the mikvah part. Wouldn't it be nice to not have to go outside in the freezing cold, drive to the mikvah and dip in rain water used by who knows how many women? I'm not saying we should stop doing this mitzvah (commandment), but can't we adjust it?? A little???
I better stop now before I get struck by lightning while I go to CVS and pick up the next 3 months worth of Nuvaring.
P.S. I left out the part where they ask if I want them to check anything on me.... Um, are you kidding?
no wonder kosher is one of my favorite words
ReplyDeletedying of laughter. falling off my chair. will comment more when i recover. JBs comment sent me over the edge.
ReplyDeleteokay. ive recovered. so i agree that the thought of the water being dirty is kind of gross. but honestly swimming in general is gross, you know kids have peed in the water. at least at the mikvah only clean, freshly showered women are getting in....
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the lone floating hair!!
ReplyDeleteuh - Rayli - WOW! That is all I can say. Hey - if you don't like going to the Mikvah that often, I have an idea - Get pregnant and then nurse for like five years. That may work.
ReplyDeleteOK- so I am not Jewish, but my best friend is, so I know a tiny bit about the mikvah. I think I would be a little freaked too by the possible germs, but as a Catholic, I take the wine at mass from a cup that hundreds of others of people just drank from! Yuck! I figure since it is something that God wants us to do . . . it is only right that he protect us from all of the germs! :) BTW, I did nuvaring . . . but the mirena is way better! No period for a year now. (Sorry if that's too personal!)
ReplyDelete"I hope I am not offending anyone, but it is slightly ridiculous."
ReplyDeleteI am not offended personally, but I strongly believe that this is not the forum to discuss your feelings on the matter. I hope that you rethink who is reading it and what kind of impression it leaves, and consider taking this post down.
I am pretty sure who wrote the comment above, and I want that reader/blogger (assuming I'm right) to learn how to read my blog in the voice of sarcasm. I think all women pretty much feel this way about the mikvah and you sometimes have to be able to poke fun and laugh at yourself a little. Take Annie for example..... she can admit that drinking from the same cup as others is a bit nasty. And even though we poke fun, or actually make fun, it doesn't mean we are putting down Judaism. Please have a sense of humor, and know that I will NOT delete my post.
ReplyDeleteRayli - while I am a slightly more private person, and would not write this specific post, I absolutely agree with you. I do not know who anonymous is, but I believe this forum BELONGS to Rayli and she has the right to write on whatever topic she prefers. And anonymous has the right to no longer visit your blog if he/she is uncomfortable. It reminds me of the people who get upset over a specific controversial movie or tv show - dont go to the movie, dont watch that channel or throw out the TV altogether. Last I checked, freedom of speech was still one of our amendments. I mean, Rayli - are you putting this post on a HUGE billboard over the brooklyn/queens expressway (cuz that might stir the pot a bit). OK - I am done - carry on.
ReplyDeleteWhen we took a class trip to the boys mikvah in highschool - a friend of mine cannonballed in - sorry for the random thought
ReplyDeleteOk Rayli - I know I (ES, sister of YP) wrote to you Anonymously in the past regarding the bunk beds - I am all nervous now that you think I wrote this anonymous post as well. Its not me!!!! I dont particularly enjoy the whole process either in fact you took the words right out of my mouth in your description of the immersion. and here I thought I was the only one who could not have any holy religious thoughts while dunking because I was too worried that I might touch a wall or that something was floating in the water. In fact I havent even mentioned the whole changing room issue - I get worried that my clothes are going to touch the floor or something I have figured out how to go in a zip up sweatshirt and wrap around skirt for easiest removal with out touching extraneous surfaces. And then there are those that teach you in Kallah (bridal) class that you have to shower there .... WELL... I had significant issues with that, luckily I once lived in a community where the Rabbi held if you came straight from home you did not have to shower there - that relieved a tremendous amount of stress for me. Its a difficult custom to observe if you have OCD issues.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you Rayli for voicing things that women are so reluctant to discuss yet important when you realize you are not alone in your feelings!!! My hats off to you and your Blog!!!!
Hahahahaha. I am totally laughing! You could have written a joint blog with me! I also wear a zip up hoodie and little skirt so it won't touch the floor!!!! And I hate the quickie shower I thought I had take there! So glad to know I don't have to anymore! I totally agree with everything you wrote! And, I didn't think the anonymous post was you, I think it is someone else who has her own blog. I recognize her writing style! I actually thought the comment about the floating hair was yours! Anyway, thanks for backing me up!
ReplyDelete