Having Babies

There is a girl in Alyssa's school. Her name is Aiva. Aiva's mom (can't remember her name... Brook maybe? Let's go with that) had her baby on friday. Tuesday morning I saw her taking Aiva to school. I look at Brook and I say, "Congratulations! What are you doing here?" She told me that she felt great. That her mother was only in town till the afternoon and she wanted to take Aiva to school. She looked great, and truthfully we all do that. No one really stays home and rests once you have more than one kid. Anyway, she was like, "I have the greatest story to tell you about my birth... go take Alyssa to school though. I'll tell you at pick up."

So I take Alyssa into school, open up the classroom door, and the teachers say, "Did you just see Aiva's mom? (They forgot her name too.. ) I told them I did. And they said, "Did she tell you about how she had her baby in her car?" What? No way. They said that she walked in the room and said, " I wanna tell you about how I had my baby in the car, but Aiva is separating well so I'll tell you later."

I got to school a little early at pick up time so I can hear Brook's story, but I didn't see her. When the doors to the room opened there she was... Brook, with her 4 day old baby, came to school for circle time to show off the baby and tell her birth story. I hope she left out the details for the kids.

So here goes...

She felt uncomfortable in the morning. But, I guess she didn't feel ready to go to the hospital and decided to labor it out at home. She didn't like the way the doctors and nurses were "invasive" during her last birth and wanted to work out some of the labor herself.

She said that the pains got so bad that her mother had to turn the music loud so Aiva wouldn't hear her screaming (ouch... sympathy pains). After 45 minutes of that pain she went into the car with her husband to drive to the hospital. She said she could barely stand up at that point. A few minutes later she started puking in the car. A few minutes after that, on Lake Shore Drive, in front of the Drake Hotel, they pulled over because her baby had come out! The ambulance came and said it was the most unsanitary birth they ever saw, and carried Brook out of the car, naked tushy and all, with a baby in her arms still connected by the umbilical cord to her nether regions. I'm sure everyone staying at the Drake had quite a view. They cut the cord in the ambulance and took her to the closest hospital.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

This is how I have a baby....

"Um, yeah Dr. Miller, will tuesday work for you? I think that's the best day for me to have it. So, they'll call me in the morning and tell me when to come in? OK great! Thanks. See ya then."

That morning I go get a pedicure, my hair done, wait for the call, drive to the hospital, get my petosin, wait a couple hours, get my epidural, they break my water, and 40 minutes later..... voila! baby is in my arms!

I don't feel pain till they break my water. Now there are a few glitches sometimes. Like when my epidurals (3) didn't work with Alyssa and I basically had natural childbirth. See that is when I decide that all the people that choose to have it naturally are either masochists or have REALLY high thresholds for pain.

I do not like pain. I like it when I am feeling so good that when the doctor says push I can't even tell if I am or not. That's just me.

(*that's not my baby, just a picture from the internet)