I had a whole crying session just thinking about it the other night. I am extremely nervous about leaving my kids. I have never left them, and I am going to miss them terribly. Especially little Alyssa who greets me with a big "MOMMY!!!!" and a hug every morning. And who kisses me on the cheek every night in her bed when I tell her I love her....
Knowing that I won't see my wonderful kids for 4 days is killing me. And thinking about Alyssa wandering the house asking "Where's Mommy?" kills me even more.
Of course I will miss Jon too, but leaving the kids is just totally different. They need me and I need them. In a way, I kind of dread going.... leaving them.... I wish they could all go down with me.
But this is something that I'm doing for me. To make me feel good about myself. To have an accomplishment that is all mine and that I worked hard for. I havn't done anything for myself in years, and I know it's gonna feel great to do it.
If only I could shake this heavy, guilty, leaving thing off my shoulders. I told Will that he's lucky that they get to sleep at his grandparents while I'm gone for the weekend. And he looks at me with the cutest face ever and said, "Yeah, but I like when we include you." Of course, tears streamed down my face..... as usual.
I'm thinking I should set up a massage and pedicure appointment while I'm in Miami to cheer me up......
I'm already smiling just thinking about it!
Girls.... we're so easy.