Feeling A Little Purple Today

So I decided to go on blogger last night. Not sure why. I mean it was way past midnight and I probably should have been in bed, but I had this guilty feeling. I couldn't remember the last time I blogged. Or what I wrote about. I decided to check in on a few friends of mine.... hoping they hadn't blogged in a while either. But of course they totally have been keeping up with it... Not like how they used to, but at least once a week. Anyway, while reading through some of the blogs I've been neglecting, I noticed that a bunch of people changed their background. And since I was feeling purplicious, I decided to change mine too. Hope you all like it. That is, those of you who still bother to check if I ever blog anymore. :(

So, last night was a very big first. My little Alyssa, who is now 3, and is so cute and grown up, and can totally take care of herself, but is still my little baby, had a sleepover at my parent's house. And in case you were wondering why, it was because we went to a bar mitzvah that was ending really late, and it is easier for my mom to watch her at her house than ours, and cuz I am psycho and I like it better when my mom babysits than a teenager, and cuz Alyssa really, really, really wanted to sleep there.

If any of you know me by now, you know that I am a total control freak. I don't just leave my kids. Even with their grandparents. So this was huge. It's not that I don't trust my parents. I knew she would be fine and happy, I just like to see my kids and know what their doing. But I am insanely attached when they are little, like 3 years old....

The bar mitzvah was fine. I didn't worry for a second. Didn't check my phone, didn't wonder what time she went to bed, if she remembered to make on the potty..... It was when I got home with my other kids, that I started sweating a little. It was midnight. Everyone went to bed. And I sat downstairs and felt like my arm had fallen off. It was just sooo weird to not have Alyssa in the house with the rest of us. I called my mom. Everything was fine. "She was sweet, and cute, and went to bed so nicely...."

I finally fell asleep at around 1 am. At 7am I woke up in a panic. Alyssa always wakes up at 6:30. I went downstairs, and checked my emails, facebook, work contracts.... At 7:45 I called my mom. No answer. I started getting nervous. Alyssa had a cold and didn't eat very much on saturday. She should have woken up early, after all she went to bed pretty early.... The last time Alyssa slept till 8:15 she was sick and dehydrated and unresponsive. We ended up in an ambulance on Shabbat. She was soooo sick. I decided that I should just drive over there and make sure she was ok.

At 8:15 I walked into my parent's house. And was greeted with "Rayli, what are you doing here?" I think my parents thought I was totally nuts. My dad insisted that she was fine, that they both had checked on her throughout the night. I ran upstairs to see for myself...... and there all comfy and cozy in bed with 3 stuffed animals was my sweet little Alyssa. With all my psycho babble, I had started to wake her.... She sat up in bed, and said in the sweetest voice, "Hi Mommy, I missed you."

She was totally fine. She was so happy, and had such a good time.

I, on the other hand, was a total mess. What is wrong with me??? Why is it that when my kids aren't with me, every worst case scenario runs through my head?

Oh, and just wait, Jon is taking Jessica and Emily to Vail in a month.

Don't even get me started......

WeDeal

Or at least we try to.

I just started working for wedeal.com. I am supposed to be contracting deals for them. The first day was a little tough, but I feel my confidence coming back and I am hoping to get some good ones contracted soon.

If any of you are interested in signing onto their website, I gave you a link above. It's free and they will send you their daily deal via email. They are mostly north shore (north Chicago suburbs) right now and are hoping to expand soon.

Anyway, I feel good dressing a little nicer on the days I work. Blowing my hair, instead of wearing a ponytail. Not only dressing in Mommy clothes (jeans and a hoodie) all the time. Kinda fun. I actually feel like a grown up for a few hours a day, instead of just running errands and doing stuff for the family.

I really like the guys at the office, and oddly enough one of them grew up on the same block that I did!!!! How crazy is that?!?!

Anyway, the girls and I have been using our DVR lately (my mother's day present that was finally hooked up about a month ago). I LOVE it. So nice to be able to dvr all our tv shows and be able to watch them whenever we want. I am still not sure how to watch it without commercials though. I can do it when I am watching it later, but I thought you could do it while it was recording. If anyone would like to fill me in on that secret... please do so in the comments.

The annoying thing was when I recorded the amazing race and later tried to watch it, only to find out that it was 60 minutes instead! Probably cuz of a delayed football game. That makes me hate football even more.

I had about 3 or 4 mini heartaches today while watching Alyssa swim at school today. She is fearless. She was holding rubber duckies and almost fell off the tot dock 3 times. One of those times I actually screamed, but she got her balance and was fine.

The teachers take the kids one at a time to swim after the ducks. They sometimes let their faces go a little into the water to let them get used to the feel of being in water and swimming in water.

But the crazy mother in me freaks out and can barely watch, thinking that she is gonna drown.

Even though they are holding her.

But I do trust them. And there are enough of them there taking care of our kids. But as most of you know, I am a total control freak and feel totally on edge watching it from a viewing room way out of Alyssa's reach.

So every wednesday morning that's where I'll be. Watching my daughter.... making sure she isn't drowning.... satisfying my crazy mind from going wild with "what ifs."

I Think I Found Myself A Job!

Have you ever heard of wedeal.com? Ok, I hadn't either till my sister sent me a link to their site for a coupon for a store I shop at all the time (such a deal... which is not always such a deal, hence the excitement of the coupon)! Anyway, it cost $25 for a $50 coupon for the store. Now we all know that I can't really get much there for $50, but if I am gonna shop there anyway I might as well be getting $25 off my purchase.

The problem happened when I clicked on purchase, and suddenly a message popped up that said the email with the coupon would be sent to me at hotmal.com .... I FORGOT THE I in hotmail. That was soooo annoying. I tried calling and emailing but couldn't get through to them. Finally, a month later, it occurred to me that I could just call the store and talk to the owner. So I did. And she gave me the cell phone of her wedeal contact who gave me the cell phone of the guy I needed to talk to.

He was really nice over the phone and said he would resend it... Anyway, the next day I went on their website and saw that they were trying to make a page of deals for my area. I decided to go for it. I called the guy back and asked if they were interested in hiring me to find their "deals." I met with the 3 guys in charge about an hour later, and voila I was the proud owner of a part time job! Yay me!

Anyway, I am really excited about it, and I hope all of you (especially chicagoans) will sign up on the website so I can get you all great deals, plus the ones that are already on there! I hear there are some good ones coming up!

Have a good weekend, and let me know when and if you buy something!

Call Me Julia....

When I was around 15, I LOVED Julia Roberts!!! I thought she was gorgeous. It was the nineties. Cool was different then. I loved her hair, her face, her fidgety-ness. I saw the movie Pretty Woman about a million times. Loved Sleeping With The Enemy.

Well about 2 weeks ago I got my hair cut. It was the normal hair cut I always get. By the same hair person, Jackie. But, she cut my layers a drop shorter than normal.

And with the humidity we've had these past few weeks, I've been feeling a little frizzy and crazy curly. Unless it is blown straight, which I never have time to do anymore... It is a crazy, frizzy curly mess.

Funny, it kind of reminds me of Julia Robert's hair in the movie Pretty Woman.

Except it's not the 90s anymore. And that kind of hair is totally gross. Not sure why I ever liked it on her.

*Will post a picture of me soon so you can feel my pain.

Mmmmm Chocolate.....

I really want chocolate today.....

Thankfully I do not have any in my house.

Well I do have mini chocolate chips and a half of a dark chocolate bar but I need those for the desserts I'm making for my shabbos (saturday lunch) company.... so luckily no chocolate that I can eat.

I just admitted to having taken inventory of all the chocolate in my house... I am totally embarrassed.

Why do we women crave chocolate???? So not fair! Why don't I ever crave apples? or celery?

I guess I will just sit here and eat some pureed vegetable soup and pretend it tastes like chocolate...

It's not working...

:(

What Is That Big Thing?

I came home at 2 in the afternoon starving.

I hadn't eaten all day, unless coffee counts.

I had to help my grandmother clean for Pesach (Passover) and was annoyed that once again, I would not be able to work out while Alyssa was at school. But then I had a great idea, to drop off Alyssa at school and run to my grandparent's house. So that's what I did... Ran a mile to their house, cleaned out cabinets, washed and dried dishes, and put them away. Then I ran back to pick up Alyssa, and went to the grocery store. Good idea right? The running part?

Anyway, by the time I got home I was starving!!! I was trying to be good. I was warming up some soup I had made, but it was taking sooo long. And I was staaarrrvvving!

While devouring some mixed nuts I was wondering what the hell those big ones are, and why they are mixed in with the good ones? When you open a can or jar of mixed nuts, you look for the almonds, pecans, walnuts, cashews... If you are really hungry you'll go for the peanuts... but what are those huge things? Like anyone is really gonna eat those enormous nuts? Maybe they are just filler. To add extra weight so they can put in less of the good stuff...

Whatever they are.... I will never be hungry enough to eat them.

*By the way, I googled images of mixed nuts, and they don't even put the big one in the pictures! But if you look closer, you can see one of those huge things hidden in the middle. It's kinda like Where's Waldo.

Relaxing Morning? I Think Not.

Got the older kids to school early this morning.

Decided to stop off at Starbucks and grab a latte and have a relaxing morning, letting Alyssa play in the baby gym before school started...

Ordered my grande nonfat one splenda latte. (and an iced water for Alyssa... starbucks cups make everything taste better.)

Knowing I never have cash, I took out my wallet to get my credit card to pay the $3.83.

Unfortunately for me, my credit card was not in my wallet.

More unfortunate... I had no clue where it was.

With Alyssa in my arms, I started going through my purse taking out pennies and dimes in front of a long line of customers... totally humiliated.

So glad that is over.

I still can't find my credit card though. I do not know where it can be.

I do know that Jon is gonna be totally annoyed with me if I can't find it.

At least I know something :(

Lady In Black

Sunday night, I was getting dressed to go out with Jon to a sheva brachot that was kinda like a wedding. It was at a hotel, there were a lot of people invited, and I heard that it was going to be pretty dressy, which it was.

I wasn't sure what to wear. I tried on a few outfits... all black of course, because as Will told me when we were shopping at Bloomingdales, "women love to wear dark colors." He said that to me when he saw a yellow dress and commented that the dress "was just too weird. Moms don't wear yellow." Which is definitely true about this mom.

Most of my clothes are black. I love black. Looks nice, goes with everything.... Jessica actually told me once that I "have to start wearing more color or people will think I'm goth." Let me tell you, that may be the one thing in my life I am not worried about. I have a few pinks, a couple greens, and even a blue. I sometimes switch it up and go brown.... but black will always be my one true love.

I try to shop for a more colorful wardrobe, but always seem to come home with a new black something. I am the queen of black skirts. I love them. Short ones, shorter ones :) and then a few that cover my knee, and even a couple that go mid calf. There are pleated ones and a- line ones and drop waist ones. There's one that has a belt, a layered one.... They are all different to me, even if they may just look like a sea of black hanging in my closet.

Anyway, sunday night I was deciding between a black dress, a black short (but not too short.. just above the knee) pleated skirt with a black sequined 3 quarter length sleeve sweater, or a black top with beads (Will picked it out for me the day he was my personal shopper) with a layered black skirt.

Jon liked the first outfit, I liked the second, Jessica liked the third. I tried them all on again.... I know all you men out there are so happy you don't live with me.... and decided on the outfit I liked. I ironed my hair, put on my makeup, and slipped on the highest patent leather black heels I owned. Always fun to wear those... even though they are hard to walk in. For once I actually liked what I saw in the mirror. I was praising myself for the 250 crunches I did the night before, as I admired the lady in black smiling at me in the mirror.

You are probably wondering why I am writing this whole long boring blog post about getting dressed. Well, I am writing it for myself because it was one of the few times I left my house knowing I looked good. I felt really pretty and feminine. I am usually my biggest and harshest critic, and for once, I did not have a bad thought about the way I looked.

I had a really nice time out with Jon. I sat with my good friends. I had a little wine and some sushi. And just felt really good about myself. That does not happen very often.

Of course the night came to a sudden halt when we went to pick up our kids from my parents' house and Jessica was puking her guts out....

But you know, nothing's perfect. At least it wasn't my bed she was puking in... yuck.

I did what any other mom would do. I took my kids home. I got into some comfy clothes (also black.... black long sleeve tee and leggings... I am the queen of black clothes) and prepared myself for the long, sleepless, vomit cleaning up night I had ahead of me.

At least my hair still looked good.

:)

Tears Of Sadness & Joy

So this is the big week! The week I am leaving my children for 4 days. The week I am running 13.1 miles at my first half marathon. I am excited and nervous... I feel like I have a million things to do.

I have already started crying over not being able to see them or put them to bed at night, not being able to hug and kiss them goodnight. Last night I was crying when I put Alyssa to bed. I'm gonna miss laying next to her warm little body while she acts silly and rolls around till she finally drifts off. And I'll miss talking to Will in the top bunk, telling him I love him, and him responding I love you more. It won't be the same without hanging with Jessica and Emily, playing games on their itouches and reading in bed with Emily. And what about our friday night perpetual commotion games???

I think I'll probably be a train wreck thursday night, and hopefully ok by friday.

But I know they will be fine. I know that Jon will take care of them, and that they'll have fun at my parent's house over the weekend. Will is looking forward to a birthday party he has on sunday, and the girls have their basketball games.... It's just that I do everything with them and I'm not used to not being with them.

Breathe, Rayli breathe.......

Speaking of basketball..... Emily had a crazy game yesterday! I wish you could have seen her. They were playing a really hard team and only had 4 players. So they had to play the whole time! They were down 7-0 and then down 20-8. It was horrible at first. I felt like the team was depending on Emily to win it (she scored 17 out of 22 points, last week).

She kept getting the ball. The coach wanted her to bring it downcourt every single time. At halftime it was 21-16. We were catching up. We kept getting closer, sometimes only 2 or 3 points away, but still trailing.

Emily was a rockstar! She was scoring most of the points, and running downcourt as fast as she could. Her teammates made a couple shots, one girl was great at intercepting the other team's passes, but that team was tough. Finally it was 29-28 with only one minute to go.... I was preparing to comfort Emily. To tell her that it's ok sometimes to lose. That it was a hard team, and she played amazingly....

Then Emily got the ball and the opposing team was after her. Seriously, I could barely see her through the swarm of the other girls attacking her, trying their hardest not to let her shoot. Suddenly I see the ball go up into the air and right through the hoop, winning the game for our team! I turned to Jon, and asked if that was Emily. I could not believe she made that shot!!!! It was crazy! Our team won 30-29... it was a great game!

Emily is a rockstar!!!! She is amazing. She just wants to win at all costs, and I totally admire her determination and will. She has this drive. She needs to do everything as best as she can.

I know she gets her competitive nature from me, but I hope that natural drive to succeed is from me too, and I hope to someday discover it.

Dreams

I was given 2 blog awards over the weekend, which was very exciting!!!! But before I pass them along or acknowledge them I have to tell you all about my dream last night.

I couldn't fall asleep in my bed and it was late, so I went downstairs to sleep on my family room couch. It is much cooler downstairs than upstairs in my house (so annoying!) so I wrapped myself up in my blanket. I was still cold so I did something I always tell my kids NOT to do. I covered my head with the blanket and tucked it under my head. Finally I felt warm.

I must have fallen asleep shortly after, because I truthfully don't totally even remember doing it. All I remember was this dream.....

My friend Aliza was over at my house. We were just chatting when suddenly I felt like it was kinda warm in the house. I asked her if she was warm and she said no. A few minutes later I felt really hot, and asked her again if she thought it was hot in my house. I checked the thermostat but it seemed to not be working. Then her husband came over and I said, "Craig, do you feel like it's hot in my house." He said no. I started getting frantic. I started getting really really hot. I asked them again. They said no. I checked on my kids, and they were sleeping peacefully. Then I felt like the air was too thick to breathe. I told them that I didn't feel well... that I thought I was going to faint from the heat.

Suddenly I woke up for a second and pulled the cover off my head, and breathed in the most amazing breath of air I have ever breathed. I think I almost suffocated myself! I was really scared for a few minutes there!

Then I fell asleep again and dreamed that I was in Europe with my husband and kids and we were in town for a few hours before we had to go to the airport. We found this small cafe. Ashton Kutcher worked there. The deal was that if you keep buying and drinking their coffee (which was the worst coffee ever) he would sit at your table and talk to you. So, I made Jon drink the coffee (cuz he's not a coffee snob like me) and I sat next to Ashton Kutcher :)

Pretty sweet dream to have after you almost accidentally kill yourself!

3 More Weeks.....

There are only three weeks left till I leave for Miami for the half marathon.

I had a whole crying session just thinking about it the other night. I am extremely nervous about leaving my kids. I have never left them, and I am going to miss them terribly. Especially little Alyssa who greets me with a big "MOMMY!!!!" and a hug every morning. And who kisses me on the cheek every night in her bed when I tell her I love her....

Knowing that I won't see my wonderful kids for 4 days is killing me. And thinking about Alyssa wandering the house asking "Where's Mommy?" kills me even more.

Of course I will miss Jon too, but leaving the kids is just totally different. They need me and I need them. In a way, I kind of dread going.... leaving them.... I wish they could all go down with me.

But this is something that I'm doing for me. To make me feel good about myself. To have an accomplishment that is all mine and that I worked hard for. I havn't done anything for myself in years, and I know it's gonna feel great to do it.

If only I could shake this heavy, guilty, leaving thing off my shoulders. I told Will that he's lucky that they get to sleep at his grandparents while I'm gone for the weekend. And he looks at me with the cutest face ever and said, "Yeah, but I like when we include you." Of course, tears streamed down my face..... as usual.

I'm thinking I should set up a massage and pedicure appointment while I'm in Miami to cheer me up......

I'm already smiling just thinking about it!

Girls.... we're so easy.

Coming Out Of The Closet...

I've been outed. By one of you people!!!!!

So I am coming out of the closet.....

No. I am not a lesbian.

I used to keep this blog kind of secret. I told certain people about it, kept it from others. Not because I didn't want them to read it, but because I didn't want to think about who was reading it when I was writing. I didn't want it to affect what I wrote.

Well, that is all in the past.....

My friend told me she overheard someone talking about it at the grocery store yesterday. I mean, I'm flattered but like WTF??? yesterday's wasn't even a good one! She asked me about it at her house in front of 3 other friends. I admitted to having a blog, but would not tell them the name of it.... I know, I'm a big baby.

Anyway, while sitting next to me, chatting away, my friend texted MY HUSBAND and asked what my blog address was!!!! Luckily, he knew not to tell and texted me that she was asking. Props to Jon for keeping my secret.

So I guess it's only a matter of time till they find out how to find me....

No offense guys... I'll get over it soon. I might hide out for a few days though.

Things That Make Me Happy

(In No Particular Order)

Madison and Friends sales

My hydrangeas

My kids playing nicely with each other

Getting in the 100,000s on bejeweled blitz

Lying out in the sun

Hammocks

11points.com

Long Beach (Jon's family has a beach house there)

Going to the movies

Getting my hair blown straight

Pedicures

Facebook

Bloomingdales

Playing with Will when he actually wins without me letting him

Letting my kids do or get something they really want

Reading friends' blogs

American Laser Center (if you go there tell them I sent you)

Getting a massage

Buying makeup

Talking to Jessica on the phone yesterday!!!!!!!

A Few Things About Me

I love flowers. I like knowing the names of the flowers that I like. I especially love watching my garden come back to life every spring after a long winter. I love that I picked out everything that was planted in front of my house. I love how every year it looks better and better.




These are the peonies that I saved from the big storm... that I now get to enjoy in my house.



I love to color. It is so relaxing. I took Alyssa and Will to the exploratorium yesterday, where we met a friend and my sis and their kids. I had a little too much fun tracing the animal stencils and made these with my friend's kid...



I am on the computer most of the day/night. I love uploading my pics, checking my email, checking out the stores that send me their emails, reading blogs, talking to friends on facebook... (speaking of facebook, do NOT try that jewel game... it is totally addicting and I waste at least 2 hours a day on it. It looked stupid... thought I'd check it out and now I'm hooked. I suck at it but I'm trying to outplay my friends. I even have my kids hooked on it hoping they'll get good at it and beat my friends' scores.)

I love my car.



I love Bloomingdale's.

I love Trish McEvoy lip gloss (not that color) and perfume (sexy 9).




I like to jog on the treadmill, but sometimes go through lazy weeks and don't do it at all. I love that my ipod connects to my treadmill so I can listen to music without using the earbuds.

I love music... and I love that my kids and husband love music.

I love watching my kids dance... this is the first year they have not taken lessons but will start again in the fall.... Emily- tap/ballet. Jessica- jazz/hip hop.

I love watching my kids play sports.... especially basketball.

I love that Alyssa likes to clean things. The other night I was sweeping the kitchen floor before dinner cuz my kids spilled some popcorn. Alyssa came in the kitchen and said "uccchhh" so I told her, "It's dirty. Mommy is going to clean it up." And do you know what she did? She ran out of the kitchen and came back a few seconds later with a wipe, sat on the floor, and started washing the floor with the wipe. I said to Jon... "you know I think I'm doing s/th right with this one" and then I ate my words as she attemted to eat a piece of popcorn from the dirty pile I was about to sweep up. But still I mean 18 months... come on.... be impressed with her.





I hate cooking dinner, and even worse... deciding what to cook for dinner. And even worse than that... cleaning up after dinner.

I hate being cold.

I hate when people say FYI.

I hate accents.

I love diet arizona green tea and drink it all day long.

I love Starbucks coffee. My favorite is their Nonfat Pumpkin Spice Latte... yum! But really a plain old nonfat latte works too.

I'm starting to like dunkin donuts coffee too, but only iced and cuz it's cheaper.

I love to get pedicures but not manicures.

I love to get my hair blown.

I stay up very late at night... not sure why... just like to.



That's all I can think of right now....